Boracay Brings in No Drinking Zones, Who Cares?

The terrible news that Boracay has now bought in new no drinking zones hit me harder than when my granddad died (he’s not technically dead, I just think he’s a dick), but then I started thinking about it, and then thinking about it some more before I realized that in actual fact it really didn’t matter, as not only is Boracay highly overrated, but there are a ton of other places without families, and no drinking zones, where one can get wild! So here’s some of our top picks.

  • Subic Bay

Subic is better than Boracay for a ton of reasons. To start with Boracay is not only much more expensive than Subic, but lets be honest Boracay has been so Disneyfied that its now considered a family resort! Instead of family resort we like resort that is full of girly bars, and Subic is full of girly bars. OK so some of the women working look like they were alive during Spanish rule in the Philippines, and whilst you can’t teach an old dog new tricks, you can definitely bar fine her, take her home, and discuss post-independence Philippines.

  • Sabang – Puerta Galera

Not only do you have to fly to Boracay, but to make things even more complicated they even have two airports to make things super complicated. For Sabang, no such issues, you simply get to Batangas, jump on a ferry, get off the ferry, get on a trike, and then go to Sabang. What we like most about Sabang is that they have combined beach, with boobs. The girly bars are great, and the pole based dancing is acrobatic. And you prefer sausage to taco, and your ladies with a little more down below, then you can head to PG beach.

  • Angeles City, Pampanga

Angeles City initially confused us, we went there and booked into a hotel called Angeles Beach Club Hotel thinking that meant that Angeles City was next to the beach, in fact its fucking miles away, 3 hours in fact, not even bloody close. We then decided to make the best of things and head out to Walking Street, Fields Avenue and hit the girly bars, and oh my word there are a lot of girly bars, a lot, like really really a lot, and at clubs like XS, and RA, the women were actually hot. Not only does it have hot chicks, but there are also pub crawls, private pool parties, and weekend competitions where hot girls stand next to pools and men decide who is the hottest by throwing beads. At this point we realized we no longer cared about getting sand in our snatches, and in fact, pools, bars and babes beats overpriced Boracay every day of the week.

If you now hate Boracay and would like to book something better then contact us to let us plan your next Philippines adventure.